Winding down

I have two weeks left, and everything is happening fast. Tanja is here and gets back from the Philippines tomorrow. Rusty gets in on Sunday. Tanj and I take off to Vietnam on Monday, back the 6th and I leave the 10th. The 9th I will find myself surrounded by great company: Rusty, Digs, Tiffany, Yat Wan...a fitting way to go.

Anxiety is high, emotions rampant, and I can't possibly begin to articulate how weird saying goodbyes and packing my semester away has been.

I'm going to miss this place.

Senile Old Men

Dear Tiffany,
I don't know you yet but I already don't like you. The reason is simple. You are young. I hate young people. Like Sara. I especially don't like her because she is young and ugly. She's like a baby yeti. UGO. Plus she's Egyptian. I don't like them either. Living in the glory days of the past, trying to forget that even the Albanians and Georgians colonized them. The fact that you are friends with her puts you in bad standing already.

Anyway from my observations on your blog it looks like you are a real trouble maker. I won't tolerate that, I won't stand for it either. You will learn to respect authoritah!!! I don't think I would want to get to know you at all actually. All my years as an undercover agent for IASTE within @'s evil empire instilled in me a distaste for foreigners. @ would be a lot cooler if it wasn't for all the damn foreigners.

I just wanted to take the effort to give you a glimpse of how miserable you will be in Shanghai. Let me know when you are coming, where you will be staying blah blah blah and I will personally take it up on myself to ruin your life while you are here. It's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it.

Love and peace or else,
Digs

PS: I'm very creepy, avoid me at all costs if you know what's good for you. All the rumors you heard about me are the tip of the iceberg... The bad ones are the tip of the iceberg, the good ones are lies.

Oh Goody, A typhoon...

Tomorrow should be an interesting twist to life on this beautiful seaside campus when Typhoon Chanchu meets the HK shores. Notice that experiencing a typhoon is NOT on my list of HK goals.

Crapola.

Why am I still here?

I'm sad, frustrated, and demoralized. Why am I still in aiesec?

1) The unyielding belief in creating an organization that at this point doesn't exist.
2) The people

That's it.

Good Day, Sunshine

Two goals accomplished today:

1) Get really lost

2) Have a near death experience


Some may disagree with the latter, but to two already-freaked-out and very lost ladies on what was meant to be a relaxing hiking trip through Sai Kung, a huge snake encounter directly followed by a WILD BOAR encounter definitely qualify, and "near death experience" can be crossed off my list of goals.

Aside from that little adventure, this has been an absolutely incredible day. Life is falling into place beautifully...I'm still in disbelief. There's just no way to describe how relieved and happy and lucky I feel, so I'm not even going to attempt to do it...BUT, one thing I do need to say is that I have some pretty fucking amazing people in my life, and I am so grateful for that.

On that note, 28 days till I'm back in the US of A!

Border Crossings and Teddy Bear Kingdoms...or lack thereof

I woke up this morning in eager anticipation for my long-awaited shopping trip into Shenzhen. Consumer goods were waiting for me across the border, and I was ready. I had my fanny pack on, my passport ready, my knock-off northface glued to my back, and pictures of my soon-to-be tailored suits printed and ready for action. After the 25 minute MTR ride, followed by another 30 minute KCR ride...Jess, Jacqui and I eagerly arrived at the borders. SZ and the glorious shopping in store were only a few short feet away.

One slight problem: my visa expired YESTERDAY.

I sat staring at my passport in disbelief. How the fuck did it get to be May 7th?! Three months have passed since I was in Shenzhen? I asked if there was anything I could do. Nope. I asked if they gave visas at the border. Yeah, unless you're from the good ol' US of A. Fucking A man, Fucking A. So, after I proceed to beat myself up over my idiocy, I had to turn my ass around as the girls proceeded on an epic shopping adventure without me. It took about another half hour in between the SZ and HK borders as I waited to be cleared to go back into Hong Kong. I cried. A nice man gave me a napkin. That helped a bit.

after a rather disappointing start to my morning, I decided there was only one thing to do with the rest of my day to make me feel better...find Teddy Bear Kingdom. For the longest time, I have heard tall tales of the mystic lands of Teddy Bear Kingdom located somewhere in the heart of Hong Kong. I was told I would encounter it on one of my HK endeavors. A certain person got lost in the midst of the land of the Teddy Bears, and his eerie retelling of the events only escalated my anticipation of the adventures I would encounter when I made the discovery.

I was given no clues as to location before journeying to Hong Kong...only that it was inevitable I would stumble upon it. I came to Hong Kong confident in the certainty of finding it..but as my time here progressed, I began to second-guess myself. What if I was never to discover the magical place? What untouched part of Hong Kong did it consume? If I can't find this place, how much of the rest of HK am I missing out on?

I finally asked for a hint. HK museum of art. Noted.

My search was temporarily forgotten through the excitement of travels and the daunting week of school work which followed (yea, I actually take classes). But, today, after my piss-poor morning, I was determined to find it once and for all. I took the MTR to the TST stop, speed walked down Nathan road, under the subway to the upscale mall SOGO. I then began to ask questions...people pointed left, they pointed right, looked at me funny and shook their heads. you know, the usual.

Finally, I get the answer to the puzzle: This is it. SOGO. Teddy Bear Kingdom was replaced by the mall one year ago.

NOOOOOO!

Summertime

I've decided to raise the middle fingers up to resume-fucking for the summer and go with my gut. I'm working at Teatro IATI the non-profit Spanish theater company as an intern to the administrative director. And, if all goes as it should, I'll be living with Clarali. Come August if I'm not fluent you all have a right to punch me in the ass.

What I've learned in Org Management 121:

...

Pulled in Two Directions, and I want it All

I went from zero summer prospects to way too many in 1 weeks time....

Option #1: Pace Summer Internship Program: High-intensity, obscure internship specifications, NYC history and culture courses, all with a rigorous global culture and leadership development focus

Option #2: Assistant to the Artistic & Administrative Director at NY ARTISTS UNLIMITED

founded in 1982, is dedicated to taking professional theatre to under-served audiences. The
company focuses on works that evoke dignity of the indivi-
dual and sanctity of the human spirit. A multicultural nonprofit
company, we tour self-contained to the ethnically-specific and
-diverse neighborhoods of New York City and the Northeast.

Option #3: Intern with the Artistic Director of a Spanish theater company at Teatro IATI

Teatro IATI (International Theater arts Institute) is a New York based, non-profit theatre organization established in 1968 dedicated to the production of theater works in Spanish for children and adults audiences, which it performs on its home base of NYC and on tour in the US and abroad. Teatro IATI specializes in the performance and promotion of contemporary Latino and Hispanic playwrights through play readings, workshops, and full theatrical productions. Teatro IATI serves as bridge between these playwrights and the increasingly mobile Spanish-speaking community in NYC, in the US and around the
world.


I sat here seriously torn in two polar opposite directions, and each one represents a field I'm passionate about and could seriously dedicate my future to. Do I take the structured, high-intensity international business route, or the riskier route-less-travelled of the vibrant theater world of NYC, all while developing my Spanish skills? This is incredibly daunting to decide, because it forces me to prioritize between two completely opposite and equally inticing paths, each that could potenially open future doors.

This brings me right back to choosing my major. I entered into college with intentions to major in Theater and Poli sci...I wanted to have it all...Reality check: not enough hours in the day for a double major with theater if you want to have a social life, and especially if you want to have an AIESEC life. So, a choice was made, classes dropped, auditions stopped, and in my gut, it was the right thing to do.

Now I find myself pulled in that direction once again. It took me a phone call to a teacher, a second-mom, a mentor, and a friend to put things into perspective. To help me sort my thought process out. To show me where my gut is.

I'm almost ready to make a decision.

Almost

For Lack of a Better Word...

This isn't an accurate description, because I'm not necessarily referring to a specific location called home, but rather to the people whose presence creates a feeling closely linked to the feeling one would attribute to the idea of "home."

If that makes sense.

So, for lack of a better word, I will just have to settle on describing myself as a tad homesick these days.

Dripping with Irony

LTM is this weekend, and instead, I sit here writing page 5 of 20 for my Organizational Management course.

The Title: Change and Restructuring: A Consultant’s Perspective on the Management of Change at Organizational, Group, and Individual Levels

Akward Encounters: Kenya Style

I asked Burbach to share an awkward story from Kenya.

As per your request a moment of awkwardness. It was difficult to select, but here's one of my favorites. So I'm sitting by the fire with my host sister cooking dinner, as the brother is drinking tea. She looks at me and asks, "So when are people initiated in the US?" This question caught me completely off-guard as my mind was wondering and I wasn't really with it...what a surprise right? Anyways, my brilliant reply, "What kind of initiation?" She makes a motion signifying circumsion. Ohhhhh. I told her that it wasn't as big a ceremony in the US, that babies usually have it done to them when they are a few days old. I explained that it is a big ceremony in Jewish culture however. Then the awkwardness begins when she tells me that her brother, who is 14, is not circumsized but that he desperately wants to be. He is obviously both verbally and visually embarrassed by this. Then comes the finale..."So are you circumcized?" Keep in mind she is 22 and even in Kenyan culture that's a taboo subject. There is awkward silience. "So how's that rice lookin?

He did not disappoint.

Leadership and Improvisation

Leadership explained in language that's rusty, yet native to me. Man I miss theater.

On Dahab

I sat in bed yesterday feeling physically sick at the news of another bombing...I can't get over the fact that this shit is getting more and more frequent, and we are living in a world that, I'm disgusted to say, has grown accustomed and in a way numbed to the fact.

People Have Died.

I am not ok with letting the increasing number of these events numb my reaction to each and every one of them. I refuse to detach myself from the fact that so many people have lost their lives too early, too young, for nothing. I refuse to live in a world so tainted with blood, hatred, and irrationality, that a gutwrenching act such as this one is just another blurb in the news, heard but not internalized, leaving people unphased and apathetic.

I sat in bed yesterday anxiously waiting for my mom to call me back with news about my family and friends. I am so relieved to say that they are all okay, and so sorry for those that can't say the same.

I wish I could make more sense of all of this.

You are Always on my Mind

Maddie Ice, a friend from high school, has never left the country. I talked to her online for the first time since I've been abroad, and shared some stories, pictures from my little adventures around SE Asia, my AIESEC conference, my future AIESEC plans of conferences and traineeships. Maddie ICE was blown away. ICE has wanted to travel. She's wanted an opportunity to live abroad, see the world. She has no direction, and no place to start, aside from study abroad programs or semester at sea. She has no network around the world to provide her advice on, say, crossing the Thai-Cambodian border . I told her a little bit about nomadlife, and a touch about AIESEC. My stories and experiences with this organization, the incredible people I've met through it, and my relentless passion, evident through the poor medium of AIM from half way across the fucking world, have pushed Maddie ICE to CREATE experiences of her own. I could just feel her passion building, the possibilities formulating and expanding in her mind. The seed's been planted in yet another potential change agent. I can FEEL it. And it feels good!


Since APXLDS in the Philippines, AIESEC has been a constant on my mind. I anxiously await the chance to dive back in. Shake things up. Create CHANGE. I'm itching to take action. Every day my vision for where I would like to see Madison head becomes more vivid and tangible, the steps toward that vision more concrete. We hold so much potential as an organization that it's sometimes overwhelming and difficult to grasp. We have so many resources at our fingertips that we need to be taking Advantage of...

I read Sarah's incredible post about her experiences in AXLDS Colombia and I am completely struck by just how much six days at an international conference can impact an individual.

I read Nicky's post about her first FACI experience at an Australian conference and the HUGE progress she's made in developing as a leader.

I read Betsy's inspiring blog on taking hold of the direction of our organization and creating leaders better than ourselves.

I want to see more people jumping at the opportunity to attend an international conference. I want EVERY member at my LC to have the chance to experience what Sarah did without costs holding them back. Arthur, LCP Cornell, made it happen for his LC. Madison can too. I want ALL of us to feel ourselves taking huge strides toward our leadership development and SEE the results like Nicky's epiphany. Most of all, I want us all to TAKE OWNERSHIP of our organization and towards developing future leaders within it Like Betsy is.

I am so fucking proud of so many leaders within AIESEC these days. I feel the PASSION, and I'm loving it.

Let's blow shit up my friends.

Cambodia

Ramblings From Krabi

This trip has been incredible, and there is no way I can sum it up in a blog entry. Cambodia was unlike any place I've ever seen; Siem Reap the incredible temples of Angkor,Three year old girls who's first few words are probably "postcards 10 for 1 dollar" in five different languages...Dinners with tuk tuk drivers in front of humble homes. Watching the tuk tuk driver get drunk on homemade rice wine and slowly watch his personality morph before our eyes. 14 hour border crossings, shitty bus rides, sketchy hostels, getting thoroughly ripped off and loving it. Endless bus rides through fields and shacks. Phnom Penh: the eerie silence and energy of a school-turned-torture center 30 years ago during the Khmer Rouge regime. The realization that every Cambodian you meet has some relation to one of the 2 million people who were killed, A local free hospital being told that it's facilities, which save hundreds of lives, are too high tech for the economic realities of Cambodia...Like I said, I've never been anywhere like Cambodia, and it completely blew my mind.

And just like that, I was flown out to Bangkok and then to the south of Thailand for a week of incredible beaches, snorkeling, white sands, and Thai New Years. Thai New Years is celebrated like no other new years. Streets turn into the Water war of all Water Wars, and anything is fair game. Supersoakers, buckets, and hoses are in full force, and Patong Beach in Phuket is unreal. Motos and pickups pile people on and drive up and down the beach pouring buckets and super soakers at each other, while others wait alongside the road fully equipped to attack. After the festivities, we hitched a pickup and a 20 minute drive took one full hour and by the end, the pickup was filled with water and we were drenched and covered in white powder and loving it.

I can't possibly describe all the experiences I've had here. The amazing people I've met. The eerie energy of Cambodia followed by the postcard island, limestone, white beaches of Thailand, and the impact the juxtaposition of these two opposite experiences created. There's just no way to put it all into one simple blog post. All I can say is that it's been incredible and will happily provide more ramblings in person.

The trip is nearly over. My semester is nearly over. I sit here in Krabi and have time to just pause for a bit and let some of this soak in. I spent a great deal of the semester expecting to stick around Southeast Asia for the summer. Then I seriously considered following some of the most passionate AIESECERS I've met and learning a bit from them in Australia. I've thought into this a lot, and realized that right now, I really need time to process everything that's happened this semester, and a whole lot has happened...

I need to be in a place where I feel grounded. I need to be doing something where I feel like I am directly impacting at least other people, even in a simple way. I need to be with friends who are inspiring, ambitious, and supportive. I need to be away from Madison. And I need to let myself saturate all this before plunging into whatever comes next.

So, on June 10th I fly into NYC, and plan on doing volunteer work there for the greater chunk of the summer.

I'm not sad to be going back to the US soon. I'm actually inspired. I'm inspired by everything I've seen here. By people I've met... In Hong Kong, at AXLDS, on my trips. Right now, I'm incredibly blown away by a few amazing leaders back in the US, who are stepping up in a huge way and steering the direction of an organization we've all invested so much into.

One more month of Hong Kong, and then it's time to step up...I'm ready for it.

From The streets of Phnom Penh

I'm safe and doing well. Cambodia is blowing my mind. Details and pictures to come after this crazy ride is over.

Chloe's Story

Exerpt from Chloe's email, OZ @er, about happenings at APXLDS post departure...

Did you hear that Mel Mel, me, the Bangladeshi guys, the UAE guys, the OC and the Faci were all held hostage on the 29th when we were supposed to be leaving? Well the story goes... we all got in the car on the 28th to go to another hotel to stay the night together and then catch the ferry in the morning to Cebu to get our flights. Well so our luggage was supposed to be coming later. 1am roles around that night and I have my luggage but none of the Bangladeshi or Mel Mel have their luggage. We are told - typical Philippine style "don't worry it will all be resolved in the morning!" Morning comes and we are supposed to catch our ferry at 8:30am. We catch the bus back to Bohol Tropics because apparently our luggage is still there waiting for us... weird but ok...

We get to Bohol Tropics and find out that our luggage, with the Bangladeshi guys passports in it are being held hostage at the resort, along with the Faci and the OC. ie. these guys aren't allowed to leave the hotel or open their luggage because the hotel staff won't let them. After waiting 2 hours and the Bangladesh guys missing their flight we find out that apparently until the OC pay the hotel the account for the conference $25,000 US in cash they will not let the OC or Faci out of the hotel and were holding our luggage as assets. Time was ticking down till me, Mel Mel and the UAE guys had to catch our flight and catch the ferry so we wouldn't miss our flight. Luckily we eventually got our bags and caught the last ferry. We had to call the airline and get them to hold the gates open for an extra 15 mins for us! Luckily we made it.

Ridiculous

The big 50

That's right. Through the whirlwind of it all, my dad just turned fifty.

Is fifty a year of reflection? A year of looking back at your past and gauging your triumphs and challenges, successes, Mistakes? Of evaluating the person you were, the person you are, the person you wished to be? Maybe it's just about being with the people you love. With the people that love you. Maybe it's just a day to capture the whole of your life, at that very moment, and to let it sink in. A day to just pause it all for a fraction of a second and redirect your path, if you so choose.

Is fifty too late for change? Does a person reach a certain point where their inner-self, their habits, relationships, mindset, are so deeply ingrained that the task of self-growth and redirection is as monumental as moving a fucking mountain?

Is a birthday just another day that's meant to be this great milestone in your life, only to leave a person sorely disappointed when the golden day doesn't live up to that picture perfect Kodak moment?

Somewhere between my 6th and 20th birthdays, things got complicated. As much as I'd like for my dad to have had a glorious BIG 50...life doesn't always happen like we want it to. But hey, I guess we're even now. The padre and I. Birthday for birthday?