And the moral of today's story:

I need to buy a planner.

Invisible Children: What now?

My coach group met today and had a really great conversation regarding the Uganda Event our Madison LC hosted this last Thursday...From our meeting, we decided that our @ network can do more, lots more, to spread awareness. We have a huge tool, a network to 91 different countries, with passionate, motivated students interested in bettering the global future. The question is, how can we utilitze it?

We started brainstorming and came up with an idea I'm dedicated to making a reality. How can we educate people, Aiesecers, not just within the US, but throughout all the @ countries on this issue? How can we have a direct impact and spread awareness worldwide??

Here's the idea:
We have members traveling to different LCs all over the world. If we can somehow purchase a massive amount of Invisible Children videos (which in itself is a fundraiser for Uganda awareness by the makers of the documentary) and send them with willing exchange participants so they can host Uganda events in the @ countries they will be visiting, we will potentially be spreading awareness of this under reported crisis on a large scale level, to people just as passionate and motivated as ourselves.

This is just the tentative idea. We need to work out the kinks, figure out fund raising ideas to purchase a massive supply of these documentaries. Anyone interested in getting this going with me, comment away.

I'd like to get this rolling before the semester ends. i plan on taking a documentary to the Hong Kong @ers and setting up an event just like ours on that end of the world.

How many people can we impact?

Mid semester thoughts

You're thrown into these schedules, you go from one thing to the next, not knowing where you'll be in the next few hours without pulling out the old calendario, scrambling to finish up what you are already a week behind on, losing track of time and place and feeling a bit zombiesque. I've attempted to impose some sort of regularity to this semester. I've failed. There's definitely a sense of disconnect, in many junctures. Things change, friends move, come back, go abroad. They come back changed, or maybe they're exactly the same, and its you who's changed. Families change, the dynamic changes, expectations change, responsibilities accumulate. The city stays the same, but the people that define the city and what it means to you are missing.
Case and point:
I've just been in Madison too long.
It's time to get away.

A little questionable...

So, Tanj and I were walking back from a rough day of econ... Walking to and from class, we see these odd-shaped specimens scattered on our path, some whole, some smashed up, but due to sleep deprivation, in depth convos, the hustle and bustle, we never process the peculiarity of these objects..until today. On our walk back, we witness a man scattering around collecting them, and then hurrying off into the distance. We try to follow him, but he disappears out of sight. This is when we decide to tackle the mystery of the questionable fruit. We return to the main path scattered with these oddly shaped, lime green...fruits?. We look up...there are no trees in sight growing them. Tanja is brave enough to pick one up. It's a bit sticky. It smells like a tangerine. We take it home for further investigation.



Not difficult to cut, but perhaps unripe. The inside smells like a pumpkin. What is this thing?! Someone out there has got to know...I will not rest until I find out the mystery of this questionable fruit.

New hardest part about Ramadan:

I can't take study breaks to get food.
There's no valid reason to get out of this chair.
my one solid excuse is gone.
Procrastinating has hit an all time low.
Weird.

Blogworthy: A revelation

"I win by means of nothing but logic, and I surrender to nothing but logic" (Atlas Shrugged)

When I read this book, this quote really stuck out at me. It was a concept I found fascinating at the time- to be able to make all decisions based on logic, control all emotions, and think with a clear head 110% of the time.

Well, sorry to burst that pretty bubble, but I don't think in absolutes. And perhaps those that do have a far too simplistic view of the world. While you may try to have a completely objective view, emotions WILL play a part, personal experiences WILL affect your decisions, your world view WILL determine the decisions you make. While decisions you make may feel completely justified by logic, chances are, a part of your decision was also based on instinct, a gut feeling, a subconscious SOMETHING. We just aren't smart enough to consciously process everything that goes through our mind into making decisions.

And who is to say that's a bad thing?

I've learned that:
-I thrive on my PASSION. If I'm not passionate about something, I won't do it. And the word passion doesn't fall completely in line with a solid, tangible explanation for decision-making. It's just there.
-I am not rash, irrational or naive, nor do I make decisions without extensive thought.
- I don't have hyper-sensitive emotions that I follow blindly, nor do I blindly follow the opinions of people in my life that I trust.
-Making decisions based on a label or theory that, because of the Land of Academia and a little concept called Group Think, you feel you should agree with takes the crucial aspect that differentiates humans,CRITICAL THOUGHT, and throws it out the window. Plug yourself into an equation, add some numerical analysis bullshit, and out pops generic thought number 1257. HMMM.
-I reject romanticism as a way of life...Then again, I believe realism overly simplifies the world. There's a grey area in between, an area which requires a mixture of both logic and instinct. That is where I fall.
-I am not a genius; I'm no where close. But you know, that makes me work twice as hard to figure shit out. So I won't approach things I don't know about with an egotistical, judgmental, absolutist attitude based on some preconcieved notion of what is RIGHT and WRONG. THAT would be naive.

So, that's it. Yes, I'm going to Hong Kong. Yes, I love AIESEC. Yes I am passionate about both, and plan to dedicate myself to both, to a point where it may seem irrational, naive, and spontaneous to some.

Tough.

Destination: Hong Kong

I'm going to Hong Kong.

I just found out I got in today.

Trying to let it soak in.

Awesome.

Brain Barf!

I must love and accept my awkardness! There is just no other way around it, so, I must flaunt it.

A good laugh at myself is probably needed.

Life can be taken a little too seriously.

Once in a while, stop planning. A little go-with-the-flow action.

Dabble in the creative side. Pull out the old sketchbook.

People watch, scribble it all down

Read some Doctor Seuss, only out loud and with Fun Voices!

Laugh. Do a cartwheel here and there. More giggle fits where tears stream down the cheeks.

Need to heighten the optimism, downplay the stress!

A little genuine fun, like the Waterballoon fighting, slip and sliding, rollercoaster kind of fun.

Do your shoulders feel lighter yet? A little more skip in your walk?

Can you Dance? Can you shake it like Nobody's Business?

Well, good.

The superhumans

There are incredible, hard-working, motivated, ambitious people in AIESEC. I wouldn't be in this had I not been surrounded, pushed, and inspired by them. These are the superhumans...the ones that can just keep taking more on, the energizer batteries. Seeing someone this incredible on the cusp of burning out...that scares me. While it may seem like these mentors,leaders,and friends, are capable of anything and everything, they simply can't do it all. If a person this motivated starts burning out,we all need to step it up a notch...They may think they can carry the weight of the world, and perhaps they can, but they shouldn't have to.

One step closer

Next semester is finally at my fingertips...

Characters

I'm a people watcher. It's been ingrained through the endless hours spent studying body language, facial gestures, tangible actions, subtle and not so subtle mannerisms, and on and on and on in theater I, II, III, IV,...I can't help it. But, It definitely will provide some high entertainment value this semester.

My micro TA: the quintessential econ nerd, wears his pants way too far past his belly button, has overly large red-rimmed glasses, and awkwardly annunciates every single word. "Now most TAs might preface their intro discussion with a little information on their interests and hobbies," he began..."I'm sorry to inform you that I am a pitifully boring human being. I don't do anything. I wake up between the hours of 5:30 and 6:00 am, sleep between the hours of 10 and midnight, and in between I eat, sleep, and do economics"....He also wears a special band around his left arm (yes he's a lefty, as am I) to prevent his hand from feeling like cement when he writes on the chalkboard. He takes a sip from his coffee cup every thirty seconds, and has already attempted a few jokes, only to face a silent classroom staring back at him awkwardly. Seriously, if this guy was in a movie, I'd call him too generic...But in real life he's highly amusing, sadly not purposely so.

I then have "Hot Rod" Matthews for International business, and man does that guy look like a cartoon caricature! His deep set wrinkles on his forehead and his frumpy stance can't be complete without the disarray of white hair piled on top of his head, but the best part is he can make the funniest faces, and completely on accident! His eyes will buldge just a little too far, his shoulders will shrug up past his ears, he'll crinkle his forehead, pucker out his lips and prolong the "who knows" look he's trying to convey just a wee bit longer in case anyone didn't catch the hilarity of it sooner.

You know when you're in a situation, and it's really not meant to be funny, but you have to hold back your giggle fit because letting it out would just be completely inappropriate? I'm interested to see how many more days like that I'll have this semester...

"Hurricane prompts awkward questions"

The social and racial divide is finally impossible to ignore, and all it took was a disastrous hurricane...Imagine that.

Take it easy

My goal for the year: to go on the Business School study abroad program in Hong Kong this coming spring semester. In order to apply, you need 9 business/economics credits completed by the time the program starts. There is currently one opening for this program, and I'm doing everything I possibly can to get it...this means taking two econ classes, and an international business class all in one semester...Now on top of that, I signed up for a modern spanish lit course as well as a writing intensive comparitive politics course. That is a total of 17 credits. Today, I applied for a job as a messenger with the Sergeant at Arms for the State Senate...which is a 15 hour a week commitment. I just got an email saying I have the job. This is all aside from all the AIESEC that consumes my life (which is not a negative statement, but is an essential part of my life that I have to make sure to make time for)...Now, I am an overachiever, yes. I don't mind working my ass off, this is true...but Today, I simply realized there just aren't enough hours in the week to do everything I want, and to do it well. I mean, I debated...I kept thinking just suck it up for a semester...but, I think back to people telling me I'm going to burn out if I keep pushing myself this hard, and I'm not ready to burn out quite this early...So, I dropped a class, am down to 13 credits, and I'm giving myself permission to take things easy...It's tough, let me tell you...I don't like feeling like I can't accomplish everything I want, but I've just had to face that it's the right thing to do...right?

Lunch at Lulu's

So yesterday, my mom and brother and I headed to lunch at one of our fav mideast restaurant...Lulu's. On the way in, we ran into my friend Abbie...now Abbie is an awesome girl (who I am recruiting for @ hopefully)...she took off a year and lived in Israel after high school, volunteers a ton, does all these crazy camp counceling shindigs, and is majoring in Jewish studies and philosophy...Now, we bump into her with her family...and we all ended up having lunch together. Ok seriously this was great...a Jewish family and a muslim family that don't know each other having lunch together at a middle eastern restaurant because their daughters are good friends...and it was awesome, because even though our parents might have never gotten to know each other or had the conversations we had during that hour, they kind of stumbled into it because of us...and ok so yeah I have lots of Jewish friends big deal, but seriously, this is a bigger deal for the rents. I mean, yes my parents have a few friends that are Jewish, but they probably tiptoe around very real conversations...Yesterday, they not only had lunch together, but actually TALKED about her trip to Israel and my trip to Egypt,They were actually interested in our personal experiences of the two places...They were put in situation that they probably found slightly uncomfortable, actually learned from it, and maybe even enjoyed it?... I think that's just fabulous.

Keeping Busy

All summer I felt like I had something to do, and usually, it felt somewhat purposeful or significant. I am now moved into my apartment, have purchased all my textbooks, finished Harry Potter (which was intense), bustled around campus "exploring" my new surroundings I am running out of errands!...This is the first time this whole summer where I have cable tv to watch, and the time to do it, but that feels like a waste! I may be crazy, but I hate not feeling like I have something to do or work towards...AIESEC feels like it is paused for the next two weeks, and I guess I have time to be lazy?? Which is lameeeee...

But no worries, I am already making a new list of things to get done before summer is over...and damn it, this list is going to be both purposeful AND significant!

ok my rant is over.

ALI GILMAN COME HOME

CAFTA

Ok, so in my super liberal, hippy, intellectual West High School, I took a Latin American History class...In that class, I learned that NAFTA was a cruel horrible trade agreement that solely benefited the States, and exploited Mexican workers...I learned of the Maquiladoras, of the poor working conditions, of workers that felt there only way to survive was to illegally cross the border into the states. I know that I learned a completely one-sided view on the issue, and am putting together bits and pieces of a much more complex issue, but now that CAFTA has passed, I have this sinking feeling...I don't know if I have enough information to base it on, and I could just be relying on the very emotionally-based curriculum of my high school course, but I just feel uneasy... I guess more information would be greatly appreciated, and from all sides of the story.

Apartamento

I am officially starting the new semester today by moving into my apartment! I have been counting down until this day for a greater chunk of the summer, and it is finally at my fingertips, muahahahaha. After coming back from SSC, I really can't wait to get started on next semester. SSC, like everyone said, completely refueled my passion and energy...It has officially remedied any pessimism and jaded sentiments that had built up in the streets of Cairo, and has replaced those feelings with a conquer the world sort of attitude...which is fabulous. This next semester going to be a lot of hard work, both with classes and with aiesec, but, it should also bring along a lot of fun times, and I am ready for both. I have had the greatest summer, and I honestly don't feel like I wasted a single day of it, but now I am ready for something new and nearly impossible to get thrown my way...I'm ready to work my ass off, ready to multitask, to pull all nighters, to be in two places at once, to SYNERGIZE, to learn how to cook anything other than premade mac and cheese (which, for anyone who knows me, knows this may be a bit of a challenge)...Today, I'll be sleeping in my apartment for the first time, and will officially set off this crazy semester, here I go!

Favorite Things

A Favorite Things List was started
under the Siwa midnight sky
It goes something like this

*Shooting Stars

*Tidal Waves

*Going Commando

That's as far as we got
The list is open to suggestions.

I'm back!

I am back in Madison...It feels good to see GREEN...I think I have decided that is my favorite color (not shit brown)...does that mean that my identity crisis is over? You may think I am joking, but in a way it's true...This past year has been such a phenomenal experience for me; If you were to ask me last summer who I would be in a year, I would have drawn a blank and answered offhandedly that I would most likely be the same person, just one year older... I have spent a great part of this past year breaking down my values bit by bit, and seperating my family's from my own. I have struggled with huge concepts; religion, relationships, independence. I was a mess first semester, and was lucky to have a huge support system and an amazing friend to walk me through it. But, not until I joined AIESEC and met the incredible people within it did I finally feel like I had successfully begun sorting out my priorities, my goals, my passions.

I went back to Egypt for the first time in two years, and for the first time, I didn't mold into the person they wanted me to be. I held my own, I argued, I debated, I gave my family a glimpse of the person I am and the things I stand for, and it felt GREAT! I had my fair share of frustrating conversations, days when my sarcasm took over, and days when I felt completely jaded. At times it just feels easier to slip into their world and be the person they want you to be just to make everyone feel comfortable, but...to hell with comfortable! That's what we're here to do right? Raise some questions, think about the world in a new way, and make others do the same...stir it up, little darling stir it up...(sorry marley took over) I have had the most eventful three and a half weeks in Egypt, and for the first time, I have finally gotten to SEE Egypt; I experienced the world of Siwa, camping under the stars in a desert oasis, completely different than the hectic lifestyle in Cairo that had come to define this country for me for the past decade and a half...Thanks to everyone that made this trip what it was...To the AIESEC crew in the homeland, especially the inspirational KAITLIN, who is about to begin a new chapter, BEST OF LUCK! To my Madison LC, I am so excited for this next semester! And to the person who keeps me motivated, you're the John Galt in this story.

So, yes, my favorite color is green

And I am back.

Friday, SSC In Denver...and the journey continues...

I'm a smoker, sweetheart

Good times with Michael Bolton, and the guy who wears his shirt...