Friday, July 30, 2010
By McKinley
From now on, I want to write things that brighten dark skies and dry tears off of lightly salted cheeks. I want beauty to stick to the eyes of those who read them, the tongues of those who speak them, and the ears of those who hear them. I want to write... the sentence that someone reads to adjust their footing every time things seem too heavy a burden to bear. I want to write the battered paperback that saves a struggling life. I want my words to feel like a first kiss, a perfect sunrise, a whispered goodnight.
Monday, June 28, 2010
What I've learned
In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.
-Mother Teresa
Nicole was how I defined my success as a first year teacher. In your first year, you feel like you are failing every single day, and it sometimes can be difficult to find any tangible moments where you were successful; where something you did changed the trajectory of someone's life. Nicole was my one, tangible moment I could turn to to tell myself that I was successful. She was brilliant. She came into my class that way. She had an incredible gift with numbers, was a mature reader, but the most remarkable part about her was her humility. She was a social. The whole class loved her and got along with her, and she loved being with people. She was also a talented actress.
Everyday as a first year teacher, I would think how much of a dis-service I was doing her. She was well above most of my students, and though I thought of it often, I knew I wasn't challenging her in the way she needed to be challenged. When the Columbia applications came out, I was on top of it. This was one thing that I knew I could positively impact. I could change the trajectory of my kids by helping them get into a school that would challenge them. I helped all of my eligible students fill them out. I talked to parents. I took the applications to the school. A few of my students who applied were invited to take the Columbia test, and Nicole was one of them. The test was on a Saturday, and I remember that Friday checking in with all of my kids to make sure they were ready, going, etc. On Monday, when I asked them how it went, Nicole quietly told me she didn't go. I don't quite remember the reason why, but her family is incredible...so supportive and invested in their education, that the only thing I could think happened was a miscommunication about time or scheduling. Regardless, I called Columbia to tell them that Nicole needed to take the make-up. They said they didn't generally allow it, but that they were having the last make-up test that very day, and that they would make an exception for Nicole if she could go. I quickly called her parents, and we arranged for me to take her to the test. As the bell rang, Nicole and I jetted out the door to get on the M11 bus to Columbia. Lindsay Brown was on the bus with us, and on our way, we filled Nicole in on everything we knew about that test. She absorbed it like a sponge-as she did with everything she learned. She was quiet, eager, nervous. As we walked into Columbia, I gave her a hug goodbye and wished her luck, and left.
A few weeks later, her dad came by after school with the acceptance letter from Columbia- he wanted me to translate it to make sure she got in. As I read the letter by the front entrance, I was estatic. "You got in! You got in!" And I hugged them both.
Whenever I'd reflected on all of my failures as a first teacher, I had always been able to use that moment as a tangible example of a time I was able to positively influence the trajectory of a student's life. Now, I'm not so sure. Nature worked it's course and Nicole is no longer with us, just like that. Now, I know that while my actions at the time may have felt grand, great, life-changing, in actuality, we as humans are so so small, and many times we forget that.
One thing I can hold onto is that I poured myself into those kids my first year teaching. They were my babies, and I showered them with all of the love and attention and hard work I had in me. You never forget your kids from your first year teaching. They hold a special place in your heart. And Nicole will always hold a special place in mine. Goodnight, Nicole. I'll keep our memories safe.
-Mother Teresa
Nicole was how I defined my success as a first year teacher. In your first year, you feel like you are failing every single day, and it sometimes can be difficult to find any tangible moments where you were successful; where something you did changed the trajectory of someone's life. Nicole was my one, tangible moment I could turn to to tell myself that I was successful. She was brilliant. She came into my class that way. She had an incredible gift with numbers, was a mature reader, but the most remarkable part about her was her humility. She was a social. The whole class loved her and got along with her, and she loved being with people. She was also a talented actress.
Everyday as a first year teacher, I would think how much of a dis-service I was doing her. She was well above most of my students, and though I thought of it often, I knew I wasn't challenging her in the way she needed to be challenged. When the Columbia applications came out, I was on top of it. This was one thing that I knew I could positively impact. I could change the trajectory of my kids by helping them get into a school that would challenge them. I helped all of my eligible students fill them out. I talked to parents. I took the applications to the school. A few of my students who applied were invited to take the Columbia test, and Nicole was one of them. The test was on a Saturday, and I remember that Friday checking in with all of my kids to make sure they were ready, going, etc. On Monday, when I asked them how it went, Nicole quietly told me she didn't go. I don't quite remember the reason why, but her family is incredible...so supportive and invested in their education, that the only thing I could think happened was a miscommunication about time or scheduling. Regardless, I called Columbia to tell them that Nicole needed to take the make-up. They said they didn't generally allow it, but that they were having the last make-up test that very day, and that they would make an exception for Nicole if she could go. I quickly called her parents, and we arranged for me to take her to the test. As the bell rang, Nicole and I jetted out the door to get on the M11 bus to Columbia. Lindsay Brown was on the bus with us, and on our way, we filled Nicole in on everything we knew about that test. She absorbed it like a sponge-as she did with everything she learned. She was quiet, eager, nervous. As we walked into Columbia, I gave her a hug goodbye and wished her luck, and left.
A few weeks later, her dad came by after school with the acceptance letter from Columbia- he wanted me to translate it to make sure she got in. As I read the letter by the front entrance, I was estatic. "You got in! You got in!" And I hugged them both.
Whenever I'd reflected on all of my failures as a first teacher, I had always been able to use that moment as a tangible example of a time I was able to positively influence the trajectory of a student's life. Now, I'm not so sure. Nature worked it's course and Nicole is no longer with us, just like that. Now, I know that while my actions at the time may have felt grand, great, life-changing, in actuality, we as humans are so so small, and many times we forget that.
One thing I can hold onto is that I poured myself into those kids my first year teaching. They were my babies, and I showered them with all of the love and attention and hard work I had in me. You never forget your kids from your first year teaching. They hold a special place in your heart. And Nicole will always hold a special place in mine. Goodnight, Nicole. I'll keep our memories safe.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Remembering Nicole
The pictures were hard to send but anything is possible.These pictures are very cute and nice so remember keep them safe. bye see u.!!!!!!!!!! lol...
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Rest in Peace, Nicole
I'm in complete shock. One of my students from last year passed away today on a school trip. I cannot even begin to put my thoughts and feelings into words. She has a wonderful, supportive, protective family. I can't imagine what they must be going through.
Monday, June 21, 2010
I love my kids
As I'm sitting home with mono for now the third week, I received this text:
hi ms sadek every body miss you from class everything is different without you i'm just telling u that if u coming tomorrow to the moving up ceremony I hope you feel better ps. the whole clas will wait for you tomorrow I hope u could make it write feel better.
I don't know which student sent it, but I want to be there with them so badly tomorrow. I hope I can muster up the energy to go!
updates:
text 2: This is the whole class but we using n's phone and it was n and r's idea
text 3: Hi ms. sadek how u doing i miss you from AR. Also r u feeling better?
text 4: all right ms sadek we have a surprise for u but its goign to be later we miss u a lot hope you feel better ps the whole class
hi ms sadek every body miss you from class everything is different without you i'm just telling u that if u coming tomorrow to the moving up ceremony I hope you feel better ps. the whole clas will wait for you tomorrow I hope u could make it write feel better.
I don't know which student sent it, but I want to be there with them so badly tomorrow. I hope I can muster up the energy to go!
updates:
text 2: This is the whole class but we using n's phone and it was n and r's idea
text 3: Hi ms. sadek how u doing i miss you from AR. Also r u feeling better?
text 4: all right ms sadek we have a surprise for u but its goign to be later we miss u a lot hope you feel better ps the whole class
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Contemplations with Mono
As I sit in my room for now the second full week of missed school with the oh-so-thrilling mono, I've had some time to think. A lot of time to think. At first, my thoughts were: what a freaking anti-climactic way to finish my two years teaching in Harlem through Teach For America! I'm sitting in bed with MONO?! Shouldn't I be laughing, crying, reflecting, hugging my kids, thinking "I made it," and other significant and emotional feelings flooding through my very being? Is mono making me side-step the emotions and the drama of it all?
But then I realized, no. I'm not done teaching. I'm not done trying to make a dent in education. Yes I'm moving schools, and yes I will close the Teach For America chapter (in a way), but I'm not done with this work, so there's not the same thrill of "it's over; I made it!" It's more: let's role up my sleeves for the next year and the year after and the year after that.
So next year, I will be working at a new charter school in Brooklyn called Leadership Prep Ocean Hill, which is part of the Uncommon Schools network. I will be part of the founding team of teachers, will be the lead teacher in my classroom, and will be teaching most likely.....KINDERGARTEN! Now, that is very, very different from 5th grade, which in many ways will make me feel like a first year teacher all over again.
So, as I sit in bed, with mono, for who knows how much longer, I'll take the time to mentally prep myself all over again for my next adventures in the classroom. Let's make it happen.
But then I realized, no. I'm not done teaching. I'm not done trying to make a dent in education. Yes I'm moving schools, and yes I will close the Teach For America chapter (in a way), but I'm not done with this work, so there's not the same thrill of "it's over; I made it!" It's more: let's role up my sleeves for the next year and the year after and the year after that.
So next year, I will be working at a new charter school in Brooklyn called Leadership Prep Ocean Hill, which is part of the Uncommon Schools network. I will be part of the founding team of teachers, will be the lead teacher in my classroom, and will be teaching most likely.....KINDERGARTEN! Now, that is very, very different from 5th grade, which in many ways will make me feel like a first year teacher all over again.
So, as I sit in bed, with mono, for who knows how much longer, I'll take the time to mentally prep myself all over again for my next adventures in the classroom. Let's make it happen.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
For Mckinley
You died
And my voice awoke
You died
and a voice inside of me
that I'd forgotten I'd forgotten
was nudged back into reality
A faint whispering existence
Apprehensive.
Unready to escape the unsure lips
of a body that unknowingly held it
trapped
and waiting.
You crossed your finish line
and in your stopping of time
reminded my core
that our innate connections go unspoken
Are broken.
Ignored fragments of memories
We've forgotten we've forgotten.
Memories of life-altering significance.
That we've conveniently tucked away
in the crevices of the monotony of reality.
You died
And I remembered to remember
that my voice will only be heard
if I acknowledge it.
If I pick up a pen and blank pages
and give it the time and space
to speak.
And my voice awoke
You died
and a voice inside of me
that I'd forgotten I'd forgotten
was nudged back into reality
A faint whispering existence
Apprehensive.
Unready to escape the unsure lips
of a body that unknowingly held it
trapped
and waiting.
You crossed your finish line
and in your stopping of time
reminded my core
that our innate connections go unspoken
Are broken.
Ignored fragments of memories
We've forgotten we've forgotten.
Memories of life-altering significance.
That we've conveniently tucked away
in the crevices of the monotony of reality.
You died
And I remembered to remember
that my voice will only be heard
if I acknowledge it.
If I pick up a pen and blank pages
and give it the time and space
to speak.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
A Blessing in disguise?
I'll preface this article by saying generally a fan of unions for the most part, but the "last hired first fired" rule is a bit ridiculous. I'll be blunt: the number of tenured teachers at public schools who are not only a waste of space, but actually an obstacle to effective instruction, is painful. The fact that these teachers get paid a ridiculous amount more than I do and simultaneously make it harder for me to teach makes me wonder: why do we waste so much money on keeping ineffective teachers inside school walls? Why is it unheard of to fire ineffective, tenured teachers?
I'll also say, there are many tenured teachers who have been educators for 10, 20, 30 years, and are such remarkable instructors. I learn from them every single day. However, because they're so amazing, there's no way they would be asked to leave due to a change in last hired, first fired. What principal would get rid of a remarkable educator with 20 years of experience?
I'll also say, there are many tenured teachers who have been educators for 10, 20, 30 years, and are such remarkable instructors. I learn from them every single day. However, because they're so amazing, there's no way they would be asked to leave due to a change in last hired, first fired. What principal would get rid of a remarkable educator with 20 years of experience?
Monday, April 12, 2010
I can see the finish line...and beyond?
It's mid-April. The whirl-wind of being a Teach For America corps member is close to wrapping itself up into a neat little memory. The agony of grad school at Pace will only last for 3 more class sessions (Thank God). And my life as a second-year teacher at PS 161 will be behind me in less than three months.
So, what's next? Will I stay at PS 161? Will I move to another school in NY? Will I move to the Dominican? Oh, so many questions left to answer.
Something I know about myself (that I was reminded about today...thanks Trent:) ), is that I like to know what's next. When I have an opportunity available to me, I like to jump on it with no reservations. I also like to feel like I'm in control of what's next. Meaning, I pick what I want, then I zero in my efforts on getting it. I dislike applying for lots of things at once. I would rather just focus on getting the one thing I want. Now, this might not be the most efficient or intelligent way to make a decision, but hey, it's worked for me so far.
BUT, even though I find it very, very, very hard, I will TRY to listen to Trent and attempt to let myself wholly consider multiple options for at least one or two weeks. Sigh. For now, I suppose what lies beyond the finish line will remain a question mark.
So, what's next? Will I stay at PS 161? Will I move to another school in NY? Will I move to the Dominican? Oh, so many questions left to answer.
Something I know about myself (that I was reminded about today...thanks Trent:) ), is that I like to know what's next. When I have an opportunity available to me, I like to jump on it with no reservations. I also like to feel like I'm in control of what's next. Meaning, I pick what I want, then I zero in my efforts on getting it. I dislike applying for lots of things at once. I would rather just focus on getting the one thing I want. Now, this might not be the most efficient or intelligent way to make a decision, but hey, it's worked for me so far.
BUT, even though I find it very, very, very hard, I will TRY to listen to Trent and attempt to let myself wholly consider multiple options for at least one or two weeks. Sigh. For now, I suppose what lies beyond the finish line will remain a question mark.
Friday, April 09, 2010
Here's to May
In March, I thought:
This month is non-stop. I have no time to breathe, work out, or sleep. Just need to make it to April. April will be easier..
It's April. It's. not. easier. Now, I'm thinking:
I thought April would be easier? Why does it feel harder? Just need to make it past the tests. Just need to make it to May. May is the month it will get easier.
This month is non-stop. I have no time to breathe, work out, or sleep. Just need to make it to April. April will be easier..
It's April. It's. not. easier. Now, I'm thinking:
I thought April would be easier? Why does it feel harder? Just need to make it past the tests. Just need to make it to May. May is the month it will get easier.
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Dreamschools
Katy and I are co-blogging. Here's a summary of our thought process (Written by: Katy Hayes)
yesterday.
Sara: We should start a school one day. One that works.
Katy: Yes, we should. Let’s do that.
today.
Sara teaches brilliant yet sassy 5th graders in West Harlem. Katy teaches beautiful bilingual 2nd graders in the Rio Grande Valley.
tomorrow.
Our goal is to start a school that provides a meaningful education for children from low income backgrounds.
This blog is to help us organize our ongoing conversation about what our school will look like.
yesterday.
Sara: We should start a school one day. One that works.
Katy: Yes, we should. Let’s do that.
today.
Sara teaches brilliant yet sassy 5th graders in West Harlem. Katy teaches beautiful bilingual 2nd graders in the Rio Grande Valley.
tomorrow.
Our goal is to start a school that provides a meaningful education for children from low income backgrounds.
This blog is to help us organize our ongoing conversation about what our school will look like.
Monday, April 05, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
So THAT's what teaching math and liking it feels like
Let's be honest: I'm a pretty good reading teacher. Here's the secret: I like reading. My kids can sense how excited I get about books, and it makes them get excited about them too. Some of them are stubborn at first. They refuse to admit that reading is cool, or fun, or exciting. They simply will not have it! But, sooner or later, they find that book they love and they're hooked for life. Today, I get to sit in awe and peer up from a reading conference at a silent classroom of 28 kids that are mesmerized by their books.
Well, I've never had a math moment like that. Most of the time, I feel really overwhelmed with how much I have to differentiate for math. I'm supposed to have 3 simultaneous groups playing three differentiated math games all happening at once as I teach one of the three groups?! And that's supposed to happen twice a day?! What! There is one of me, and 28 of them. How is this possible? That feeling, the overwhelmed, I don't want to do this, I'm nervous to do this, kind of feeling...kids pick up on it. So no, I have not been able to teach kids how to be mesmerized by their math games.
Well, today I may have had a breakthrough moment. Today was family game night, and I was asked by our brilliant math coach to volunteer and help out at the fifth grade table. When I showed up at 5:30, there was only one fifth grader at the fifth grade table, but oh. my. god. That child was a child that I DEFINITELY did not expect to show up. Let's just say that he is far from passing math, and while he is very brilliant and definitely knows how to work a system or two, he needs some serious one on one math support that I haven't been able to provide often. Today, I got to play math games for 2 whole hours with this student, his mom, and our tech coach, and it was FUN! My student didn't want to leave, and got his mom to stay an extra hour. He took a math packet home, took math posters home, and even kept the scratch paper from our games as "memories."
This is the first time I've felt so excited about teaching math. It was relaxing and exciting and happy, and the student felt that excitement. Now, part of this is very clearly that there were 3 adults on deck to help one student, and when do you EVER see a ratio like that? I don't know if it's possible to transfer that same support and excitement to a class of 28 with 1 teacher and 28 kids, but maybe, just maybe, with a little support (2 teachers? 1 teacher 1 coach? 1 assistant teacher and one teacher?) I could figure out a way to love teaching math so my kids can love learning it...
Well, I've never had a math moment like that. Most of the time, I feel really overwhelmed with how much I have to differentiate for math. I'm supposed to have 3 simultaneous groups playing three differentiated math games all happening at once as I teach one of the three groups?! And that's supposed to happen twice a day?! What! There is one of me, and 28 of them. How is this possible? That feeling, the overwhelmed, I don't want to do this, I'm nervous to do this, kind of feeling...kids pick up on it. So no, I have not been able to teach kids how to be mesmerized by their math games.
Well, today I may have had a breakthrough moment. Today was family game night, and I was asked by our brilliant math coach to volunteer and help out at the fifth grade table. When I showed up at 5:30, there was only one fifth grader at the fifth grade table, but oh. my. god. That child was a child that I DEFINITELY did not expect to show up. Let's just say that he is far from passing math, and while he is very brilliant and definitely knows how to work a system or two, he needs some serious one on one math support that I haven't been able to provide often. Today, I got to play math games for 2 whole hours with this student, his mom, and our tech coach, and it was FUN! My student didn't want to leave, and got his mom to stay an extra hour. He took a math packet home, took math posters home, and even kept the scratch paper from our games as "memories."
This is the first time I've felt so excited about teaching math. It was relaxing and exciting and happy, and the student felt that excitement. Now, part of this is very clearly that there were 3 adults on deck to help one student, and when do you EVER see a ratio like that? I don't know if it's possible to transfer that same support and excitement to a class of 28 with 1 teacher and 28 kids, but maybe, just maybe, with a little support (2 teachers? 1 teacher 1 coach? 1 assistant teacher and one teacher?) I could figure out a way to love teaching math so my kids can love learning it...
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Some Numbers:
TWO: The number of weeks left until my second trip to the Dominican Republic.
THIRTY-FIVE: The number of school days left before the State Tests (Ima throw up).
SIXTY-EIGHT: The number of school days left until I finish my second year teaching.
HoCOW!
THIRTY-FIVE: The number of school days left before the State Tests (Ima throw up).
SIXTY-EIGHT: The number of school days left until I finish my second year teaching.
HoCOW!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
A genuine Milestone
Birthdays are generally artificial milestones. Real, life-changing milestones don't generally fall on birthdays. This year, I'm lucky to have both happen in one week. Everything seems to be coming together in a way I could only pray for, but could never really expect to unfold in reality. Some highlights include:
1. Conversations with my family that are more open than any conversations we've had in as long as I can remember.
2. One of my closest cousins marrying a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent woman who is now, happily, part of my family.
3. The closest people in my life coming together to give me an SLR camera complete with a case and telephoto lens so I can pursue a passion for photography.
4. A ticket purchased to the Dominican Republic for March 28-April 2 with my brother and my good friends, with an exciting school visit scheduled.
5. Shopping with my brother for our respective birthday gifts.
This week is one I will always remember. It's a week where many fragmented parts of my life have finally converged in an unexpectedly pleasant way. It is a week that's lifted a heavy burden off of my shoulders and made me excited about the possibilities of the following year. I couldn't have asked for a better way to celebrate my birthday.
1. Conversations with my family that are more open than any conversations we've had in as long as I can remember.
2. One of my closest cousins marrying a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent woman who is now, happily, part of my family.
3. The closest people in my life coming together to give me an SLR camera complete with a case and telephoto lens so I can pursue a passion for photography.
4. A ticket purchased to the Dominican Republic for March 28-April 2 with my brother and my good friends, with an exciting school visit scheduled.
5. Shopping with my brother for our respective birthday gifts.
This week is one I will always remember. It's a week where many fragmented parts of my life have finally converged in an unexpectedly pleasant way. It is a week that's lifted a heavy burden off of my shoulders and made me excited about the possibilities of the following year. I couldn't have asked for a better way to celebrate my birthday.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Teacher Report Cards
Excuse me while I step onto my soapbox.
On Monday, as an upper grade team, we spoke about the new "teacher data initiative." This initiative uses students' standardized testing scores in English Language Arts and Math to determine teacher effectiveness.
A few points of clarification:
1) Last year, it was clear that these scores were to have NO impact on teachers. According to an agreement between the UFT and Chancellor Joel Klein in October 2008. This means they were not intended to be used for hiring, firing, or tenure decisions
2) This February, Bloomberg made the top-down decision (I assume based on Obama's "Race to the Top" initiative) to use these reports as a component to making tenure decisions, effectively reversing the agreement single-handedly.
How is this report determined?
-According to the 2008 Teacher Data Initiative Report:
TVA mathematically isolates individual teacher contributions to student performance gains on the State tests. Teacher reports predict each student’s growth in student achievement based on characteristics of students, classrooms and schools that are outside of the teacher’s control. The Predicted Gains are compared to the Actual Gains for each student in a teacher’s class. Value-Added: the difference between Actual and Predicted Gains.
Essentially, an algorithm predicts what my students should get in my classroom if they had a "generic" teacher. This prediction is based on two years of testing, 3rd grade and 4th grade, by the time the students get to 5th grade. When they actually take the test, their actual data is compared to what they were predicted to get with this "generic" teacher. If they did better, I get "value-added" points! If they did worse, I get "minus" points.
This data is then compiled together and I am compared to my colleagues within the New York City, and am assigned a percentile in ELA and a percentile in math to tell me how I compare to the rest of the teachers in NYC.
What's wrong with this?
1) Tests are not reliable: Tests are magically easy during campaign years. The grading system is different based on how much money is in the budget for summer schools (since students that fail are required to take summer school).
2) Predictions are arbitrary: A "generic" teacher doesn't exist. Deeming this number the appropriate number based on essentially 2 tests in each subject doesn't seem statistically sound.
3) Only 4-8 teachers are held accountable: Since testing starts in grade 3, the algorithm can only produce predictions for 4th grade and up. This means that teachers who are already in high-stress, high-stakes testing environments are the ones who then have this extra added pressure of producing high results. This teachers already feel that pressure from administrators since funding is so directly tied to test results. On the other hand, teachers who might need more accountability, such as intervention teachers (AIS, ELLs, SETTS), coaches, do not have teacher data reports since they are not tied to a specific class. Additionally, lower grade teachers also do not have a number tied to their teaching practices.
4) All upper grade teachers are measured the same way: Teach a special education class? Who cares. Teach English language learners? So What. Teach in a low-income school? So. This is your 1st year teaching? And. The list goes on. If I am teaching in a failing school, I am expected to make the same progress with my kids that a teacher teaching in a school with high-income kids would be expected to make on those tests. If I am teaching a general education population, my colleagues teaching in Special Education classrooms will be rated in the same way I am. Which brings me to my next point...
5) Drives teachers away from teaching in challenging environments: It's easier to be deemed successful in a high-income classroom. It's easier to be deemed successful if you teach general ed students. Why are we creating incentives for teachers to leave low-income, high-need areas?
6) Success is ONLY based on ELA and MATH on your grade level: If a student comes to my classroom not knowing how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide, and I teach them to do all of that, they are still only tested on 5th grade standards, which go well beyond that work. This means their academic growth in math is not accurately measured through the 5th grade test. Additionally, we are meant to teach 5 subjects a day in our classrooms: Reading, Writing, Math, Social Studies, and Science.
7) Creates the Wrong Incentives:
Teachers are more likely to test prep their kids all year in ELA and math instead of providing genuine instruction. Teachers are also much more likely to CHEAT on tests since their asses are on the line if their students perform poorly. Does that sound like a good incentive structure?
8) Creates a distrustful dynamic: Because of the above, these tests create a negative dynamic within schools. Firstly, teachers will look to the previous year's teacher and question how the kids received the results they did. Was it fair? Did the teacher test prep all day? And, the thought no one wants to admit is, could the teacher have cheated on proctoring the test? Also, teachers now have a percentile attached to their teaching. So, where before you worked colleague to colleague as equals, now, theirs a sense of competition factored into a team dynamic, which is not constructive in a collaborative teaching environment.
9) Ultimately, it hurts the kids: At the end of the day, the kids are worse off. They already have the pressure of testing starting at the ludicrous age of 8. Now, not only do they have that pressure, but they also feel a much greater pressure from their teachers because their teachers want them to perform at a higher level than their prediction. The teacher's job is on the line, so the kids better step up. The kids are more likely to receive less genuine instruction and more test-prep instruction, which in the end, hurts the child.
My question is: has anyone who was responsible for this brilliant idea been inside a school for more than a day? Has anyone actually taught in one?
I will now step off the soapbox. Thank you for humoring me.
On Monday, as an upper grade team, we spoke about the new "teacher data initiative." This initiative uses students' standardized testing scores in English Language Arts and Math to determine teacher effectiveness.
A few points of clarification:
1) Last year, it was clear that these scores were to have NO impact on teachers. According to an agreement between the UFT and Chancellor Joel Klein in October 2008. This means they were not intended to be used for hiring, firing, or tenure decisions
2) This February, Bloomberg made the top-down decision (I assume based on Obama's "Race to the Top" initiative) to use these reports as a component to making tenure decisions, effectively reversing the agreement single-handedly.
How is this report determined?
-According to the 2008 Teacher Data Initiative Report:
TVA mathematically isolates individual teacher contributions to student performance gains on the State tests. Teacher reports predict each student’s growth in student achievement based on characteristics of students, classrooms and schools that are outside of the teacher’s control. The Predicted Gains are compared to the Actual Gains for each student in a teacher’s class. Value-Added: the difference between Actual and Predicted Gains.
Essentially, an algorithm predicts what my students should get in my classroom if they had a "generic" teacher. This prediction is based on two years of testing, 3rd grade and 4th grade, by the time the students get to 5th grade. When they actually take the test, their actual data is compared to what they were predicted to get with this "generic" teacher. If they did better, I get "value-added" points! If they did worse, I get "minus" points.
This data is then compiled together and I am compared to my colleagues within the New York City, and am assigned a percentile in ELA and a percentile in math to tell me how I compare to the rest of the teachers in NYC.
What's wrong with this?
1) Tests are not reliable: Tests are magically easy during campaign years. The grading system is different based on how much money is in the budget for summer schools (since students that fail are required to take summer school).
2) Predictions are arbitrary: A "generic" teacher doesn't exist. Deeming this number the appropriate number based on essentially 2 tests in each subject doesn't seem statistically sound.
3) Only 4-8 teachers are held accountable: Since testing starts in grade 3, the algorithm can only produce predictions for 4th grade and up. This means that teachers who are already in high-stress, high-stakes testing environments are the ones who then have this extra added pressure of producing high results. This teachers already feel that pressure from administrators since funding is so directly tied to test results. On the other hand, teachers who might need more accountability, such as intervention teachers (AIS, ELLs, SETTS), coaches, do not have teacher data reports since they are not tied to a specific class. Additionally, lower grade teachers also do not have a number tied to their teaching practices.
4) All upper grade teachers are measured the same way: Teach a special education class? Who cares. Teach English language learners? So What. Teach in a low-income school? So. This is your 1st year teaching? And. The list goes on. If I am teaching in a failing school, I am expected to make the same progress with my kids that a teacher teaching in a school with high-income kids would be expected to make on those tests. If I am teaching a general education population, my colleagues teaching in Special Education classrooms will be rated in the same way I am. Which brings me to my next point...
5) Drives teachers away from teaching in challenging environments: It's easier to be deemed successful in a high-income classroom. It's easier to be deemed successful if you teach general ed students. Why are we creating incentives for teachers to leave low-income, high-need areas?
6) Success is ONLY based on ELA and MATH on your grade level: If a student comes to my classroom not knowing how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide, and I teach them to do all of that, they are still only tested on 5th grade standards, which go well beyond that work. This means their academic growth in math is not accurately measured through the 5th grade test. Additionally, we are meant to teach 5 subjects a day in our classrooms: Reading, Writing, Math, Social Studies, and Science.
7) Creates the Wrong Incentives:
Teachers are more likely to test prep their kids all year in ELA and math instead of providing genuine instruction. Teachers are also much more likely to CHEAT on tests since their asses are on the line if their students perform poorly. Does that sound like a good incentive structure?
8) Creates a distrustful dynamic: Because of the above, these tests create a negative dynamic within schools. Firstly, teachers will look to the previous year's teacher and question how the kids received the results they did. Was it fair? Did the teacher test prep all day? And, the thought no one wants to admit is, could the teacher have cheated on proctoring the test? Also, teachers now have a percentile attached to their teaching. So, where before you worked colleague to colleague as equals, now, theirs a sense of competition factored into a team dynamic, which is not constructive in a collaborative teaching environment.
9) Ultimately, it hurts the kids: At the end of the day, the kids are worse off. They already have the pressure of testing starting at the ludicrous age of 8. Now, not only do they have that pressure, but they also feel a much greater pressure from their teachers because their teachers want them to perform at a higher level than their prediction. The teacher's job is on the line, so the kids better step up. The kids are more likely to receive less genuine instruction and more test-prep instruction, which in the end, hurts the child.
My question is: has anyone who was responsible for this brilliant idea been inside a school for more than a day? Has anyone actually taught in one?
I will now step off the soapbox. Thank you for humoring me.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Molten Chocolate Cupcakes
I'd been craving a molten chocolate cake for weeks. Months even. So I finally decided to attempt to make some molten chocolate cupcakes. Good God, these things are good.
Here is the recipe from allrecipes.com
Ingredients
* 1 cup unsalted butter or unsalted margarine*
* 8 ounces semisweet chocolate chips, or bars, cut into bite-size chunks
* 5 large eggs
* 1/2 cup sugar
* Pinch of salt
* 4 teaspoons flour (or matzo meal, ground in a blender to a fine powder)
* 8 extra-large paper muffin cups (or use regular paper muffin cups, which will make 12 cakes)
* Garnish:
* 1 (6 ounce) container raspberries, barely moistened and rolled in about
* 1/2 cup sugar right before serving
Directions
1. Melt butter and chocolate in a medium heat-proof bowl over a saucepan of simmering water; remove from heat. Beat eggs, sugar and salt with a hand mixer in a medium bowl until sugar dissolves. Beat egg mixture into chocolate until smooth. Beat in flour or matzo meal until just combined. (Batter can be made a day ahead; return to room temperature an hour or so before baking.)
2. Before serving dinner, adjust oven rack to middle position; heat oven to 450 degrees. Line a standard-size muffin tin (1/2 cup capacity) with 8 extra-large muffin papers (papers should extend above cups to facilitate removal). Spray muffin papers with vegetable cooking spray. Divide batter among muffin cups.
3. Bake until batter puffs but center is not set, 8 to 10 minutes. Carefully lift cakes from tin and set on a work surface. Pull papers away from cakes and transfer cakes to dessert plates.
4. Top each with sugared raspberries and serve immediately.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Miss you, Buddy
This is a poem about sunrise.
This is a poem
about watching
red and pink respiration
finesse the base
of the horizon,
with eyes closed
knowing
that this is all there
really is.
This is a poem
about holding someone's
hand or arm or
your own hand or
nothing
and the rush of ...
morning pours
over you.
This is just a poem
about sunrise.
This is not a poem
about anything else.
This is not a poem
about a first date,
the fact that you
hate someone you
used to love,
getting snubbed by
your crush,
rushing to see someone
who you haven't seen for
ten hours
and now it's almost eleven,
heaven-sent individuals or - hell-bent residual mistakes.
This poem is about
the feeling you get
getting up at home
or elsewhere
carefree and
free to appreciate
the elation based in
the sun and
encased in it's run
along the tips of whatever
it's framing.
It's the same window
with the same view but
the difference is you.
You've seen every sunrise
...but your eyes
are never prepared for
what they share
with the morning.
It's about the
first warming rays
of the day
erasing the night's decay and
playing games with your levels
of vitamin E.
This poem is not about
oppression,
about how the possession of wealth
has stealthily been divided
among societyso that while we prioritize money
it's funny that so many
don't have enough,
or about how tough it is
to live the American dream
if you didn't start out
sleeping with riches.
This poem is about 5:00 AM,
when you're awake and
don't have to be,
or you do have to
but you happened to notice that
below the blackness
is opening up
an orange hue and you
forget how tired you are
and that the stars are fading
just that the trade from - night to day
is amazing and
the blazing ...entrance
makes you remember that
it might not always be
just you and the sunrise
but
it is always
you and the sunrise.
This poem is not about
some kid
getting shot.
This is not a day in the life
or death
of those of us left
or the rest of the world
swirled in eddies of
bloodshed and lead "he's - down, he's down"
About brown versus
black versus
white or
red white and blue versus
the rainbow
throwing shells
... and letting bombs drop.
This is not a poem about
Iraq
or Vietnam
or any World War
or before that the Civil War
or the Revolution
or the pollution of the Americas
or the feudal system
or Troy
or one caveman
killing another
with a rock.
This is not a poem about anything
except sunrise.
It's about standing on
the handrail
of a second-story balcony
thousands of miles
from home
with the smoke from your
Black & Mild
getting in your eyes
as you strain to see the sun come up
over the L.A. skyline.
It's about sitting
on the shore
...of a secluded mountain lake
alone
at home with the water
lapping
the fog wrapping
around your ankles
and being thankful for
everything in existence,
which to you right now
is this sunrise.
Sunlight goes much deeper
than the eyes,
it finds your center,
and everyone must be meant to
arise a little bit earlier.
Our worlds revolve around
our daily lives,
but each day evolves from
inside a sunrise.
Wake up.
-McKinley Lukes
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
The past two weeks have led me to this:
Let the beauty of what you love be what you do.
There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the Earth
-Rumi
There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the Earth
-Rumi
Thursday, January 07, 2010
2009 Reflections
I wanted to take a few minutes to just stop and reflect on last year and where I am now...
2009 was a great year for me. I entered the start of last year putting the mess that was 2008 behind me, and was determined to make 09 better. I think that outlook really drove the rest of the year for me. In 2009 I:
Got into the teaching groove:
I made it through my first year as a teacher, which was a remarkable feat. I entered year two of teaching feeling prepared and in control, a drastic shift from the year before.
Stayed healthy:
After wallowing in self-pity for the end of 08, I made a drastic shift in 09 and focused on taking care of myself. This meant that in the springtime, I worked out at least 3 days a week for the most part. It also meant that I focused my summer decisions on myself and my health. Although I still got some crazy ear thing (cough cough, shingles) in March, I took care of myself in 2009.
Let it Be:
In January 09, I let go of trying to make everything happen the way I wanted it to when I wanted it to. I basically had to say: this is the situation, let it be. And it worked. I was a much happier person for it. I also learned to be by myself, which is hard for me since I usually make such an effort to surround myself with the people I love. Doing this was the best decision ever, because eventually, that stuff organically reappears in your life if you don't force it.
Took a trip:
I rewarded myself thoroughly for the craziness of making it through my first year teaching with a well-deserved trip to COSTA RICA. My surfing and yoga month was an experience I will never forget. It was just what I needed.
Bonded:
The last important highlight for 2009 was the fact that I bonded with so many remarkable people, both from work and outside of work. Back to "letting it be," in doing that, I found myself surrounded with the people that I admire and respect, and with people that make me feel happy.
Now, in thinking about 2010, here are some areas of focus for me:
Staying healthy:
I need to re-focus on this now that the indulgences of the holidays are behind us. My goal is to work out at least 4 days a week and to run a 10 K before summertime.
Figure out my life:
Ha. If only I could do this in a year... anyway, I have such a love/hate relationship with teaching, and my mind is all over the place. I need to figure out where I can best contribute to the world at large and be happy doing it.
Take photos:
I am in the process of buying my first SLR, and I can't wait to take it out and about. I want to begin taking this a bit more seriously and really devoting some of my time to practicing and becoming better.
Travel:
While I already have one ticket under my belt for February (Dominican, YEAH!), I'd like to take about a month-long trip this summer. Some thoughts are either a Latin American Adventure (surprise surprise) OR a Morocco/Egypt escapade.
Don't Judge:
I am great at finding a group of people I love and respect and admire...I'm less good at accepting those that don't fall into that category. If you don't work hard, I judge. If you have different political views, I judge. If you sound stupid on a train, I judge. Am I a horrible person? Maybe. Am I being honest? Absolutely. I need to be better at not judging. Basically, I want to work on re-wiring my brain so that I'm more accepting of people I may not necessarily agree with.
2009 was a great year for me. I entered the start of last year putting the mess that was 2008 behind me, and was determined to make 09 better. I think that outlook really drove the rest of the year for me. In 2009 I:
Got into the teaching groove:
I made it through my first year as a teacher, which was a remarkable feat. I entered year two of teaching feeling prepared and in control, a drastic shift from the year before.
Stayed healthy:
After wallowing in self-pity for the end of 08, I made a drastic shift in 09 and focused on taking care of myself. This meant that in the springtime, I worked out at least 3 days a week for the most part. It also meant that I focused my summer decisions on myself and my health. Although I still got some crazy ear thing (cough cough, shingles) in March, I took care of myself in 2009.
Let it Be:
In January 09, I let go of trying to make everything happen the way I wanted it to when I wanted it to. I basically had to say: this is the situation, let it be. And it worked. I was a much happier person for it. I also learned to be by myself, which is hard for me since I usually make such an effort to surround myself with the people I love. Doing this was the best decision ever, because eventually, that stuff organically reappears in your life if you don't force it.
Took a trip:
I rewarded myself thoroughly for the craziness of making it through my first year teaching with a well-deserved trip to COSTA RICA. My surfing and yoga month was an experience I will never forget. It was just what I needed.
Bonded:
The last important highlight for 2009 was the fact that I bonded with so many remarkable people, both from work and outside of work. Back to "letting it be," in doing that, I found myself surrounded with the people that I admire and respect, and with people that make me feel happy.
Now, in thinking about 2010, here are some areas of focus for me:
Staying healthy:
I need to re-focus on this now that the indulgences of the holidays are behind us. My goal is to work out at least 4 days a week and to run a 10 K before summertime.
Figure out my life:
Ha. If only I could do this in a year... anyway, I have such a love/hate relationship with teaching, and my mind is all over the place. I need to figure out where I can best contribute to the world at large and be happy doing it.
Take photos:
I am in the process of buying my first SLR, and I can't wait to take it out and about. I want to begin taking this a bit more seriously and really devoting some of my time to practicing and becoming better.
Travel:
While I already have one ticket under my belt for February (Dominican, YEAH!), I'd like to take about a month-long trip this summer. Some thoughts are either a Latin American Adventure (surprise surprise) OR a Morocco/Egypt escapade.
Don't Judge:
I am great at finding a group of people I love and respect and admire...I'm less good at accepting those that don't fall into that category. If you don't work hard, I judge. If you have different political views, I judge. If you sound stupid on a train, I judge. Am I a horrible person? Maybe. Am I being honest? Absolutely. I need to be better at not judging. Basically, I want to work on re-wiring my brain so that I'm more accepting of people I may not necessarily agree with.
Monday, January 04, 2010
Six weeks and counting...
The first day back at work after an idyllic winter break required a drastic purchase to maintain some semblance of sanity for the next six weeks:
Depart: | Philadelphia, PA |
|
| Depart: | Sunday, February 21, 2010 | 11:30 AM | SDQ |
| Arrive: | Sunday, February 21, 2010 | 02:08 PM | PHL |